The right ovary is gone, the left ovary has been ablated to shit, and the adhesions have been excised. And no, they won’t let you turn your ovary into a coin purse, even if it is twice the size it should be. If you suggest a paper weight instead, no one will be swayed.

I’m sown up in layers, but I’m feeling so good.

This pain is so much easier to deal with. Every time I get up it is easier. I feel better literally every moment. Oh my word. Yes. I’m aware that they have given me very nice pain killers. But still. Should have done this years ago!

Six months ago a chocolate cyst burst on my ovary.
The gynae told me my pain was caused by stress
and told me to relax.

Perhaps if she’d taken my pain seriously, I’d still have both of my ovaries right now. At least my new amazing doctor who is all empathy and light and believed me and listened to me.

 Before surgery

Nice overallsNice overalls.jpg

Nice undies (sexy eyebrow lift and come hither look*)
*ignore the swollen and distended stomach
filled with poisonous cysts and adhesionsInline images 2

They just let me lie upside down on the bed and worked around me.
So wonderful!
Before surgery.png

 

Downward dog with my right leg in the air to relieve pressure on my ovary was one of the few positions in which I had relief. Not an easy way to sleep. I had to go around in wheelchair which was super embarrassing. But then, running out of fucks to give was grand. People opened up to me in an amazing way and supported me. They felt very sorry about my ovary so they were kind. Maybe also cause I couldn’t walk. They rushed my surgery when they realised what was happening.

After surgery

I was very sensitive to light and noiseInline images 3

I’m less sensory defensive today, day 2 of recovery after surgery on 19 June. They wanted me to eat processed cheese and margarine on bread before letting me go home. Gross to a thousand million hundred. I only eat cloud bread. Luckily, I had my own food in my bag so I could eat something healthy and be allowed home. Which I vomited up the second I got out the car. Really the worst part of the whole experience.

The day after surgery

Cat is so clever and good. She sat on the edge of the bed watching me for hours. When I felt better she climbed onto my chest. She ALWAYS climbs on my tummy but she knew to climb on my chest instead. Clever girl 🙂

She is healing me with her love energy

Day after.png

I just had the best wee of my life, or at least that I can remember in years. Weeing causes so much trauma that I start bleeding again, and IT IS STILL BETTER.

I actually started crying because I felt, and still feel, how can I feel better after a month of not being able to eat, losing 6 kg, losing an ovary, being sliced and diced and cauterised, and I still feel better now?

I don’t feel like I’m filled with poison. I’m filled with healing healthy pain. Easier to manage than my least painful period.

Rambling. But those of you who shared you recovery stories gave me the courage to keep fighting for the answers to my pain, to advocate for myself. I feel empowered and assertive and strong. I can barely walk to the loo without my husband helping me. But still. That is how amazing I feel after this surgery.

That’s all for now folks. To anyone I forgot to email, you will never read this apology. Perhaps you’ll feel it in your hearts.

Keep fighting for your answer: medical, surgical, or palliative. You deserve to find relief!

Lots of love

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